Questions that have Confused Mankind

• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

• Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of it's butt."

• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

• Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

• If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they
  ask where the bathroom is?

• Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

• What do you call male ballerinas?

• Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

• If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,why didn't he just buy dinner?

• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

• Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

• Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

• Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can't wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?